Friday, October 15, 2010

Now I know

I've been trying to figure out why I'd so scattered lately. It seems like everything is in disarray, including my brain. I used to think I was so organized. Now I feel like I'm a complete mess!!

I had an epiphany today on why this could be. It's sad that it was an epiphany moment because it seems rather obvious but I actually almost said, out loud, "a HA!"

Whenever I want to get something done I don't have large blocks of time to work on projects. I have 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there....maybe an hour or so if the kids are napping at the same time (which they haven't been doing too much of lately). I'm constantly interupted with a crying child, a potty break (Nora's, not mine), a snack request or other randomness. I start a project and rarely ever get a chance to finish it...or even get halfway through it.

Do you see why I'm saying that this should have been completely obvious to me? I have a 1 year old and an almost 3 year old. Of COURSE I don't have large blocks of time. My to-do list is growing and growing, and the piles of projects are growing and growing. The messes are growing and growing. My brain is shrinking and shrinking.

I am SOOOO envious of those moms who have 20 things on their plate and they juggle them all with grace. I thought I could be one of those people but obviously I have a difficult time with it.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was told a couple years ago that I could possibly have ADHD. I looked at that woman like she had been just taken out of her own straight jacket. I thought there was no WAY I had anything of the sort. A few weeks ago, in one of the Sunday paper inserts, there was an article on adult ADHD. I went down the check list and could mark off most every symptom. It got me to reconsider that maybe I do have some sort of issue that I need to deal with.
It's baffling to me why I can't get myself together some times. Why I can't focus on a conversation very well. Why background noise bothers me so much when I'm watching TV or reading a book. Why I feel so scattered half the time.

As I type this, I have dishes that need to be cleaned up and supper to make. I have Halloween decorations that I need finish putting up and random clutter all over, but I needed to sit here and write this out. Writing some of this helps clear my head a little and then I can move on. Otherwise the words muddle through my brain until I do something with them. So off I go to get supper ready...we'll see what the night brings.

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