Monday, February 21, 2011

Motherly Thoughts

I’m sitting on the plane on the way home from Orlando, typing in Word, getting this ready to post after I get home.
...and here it is

As I walked through amusement parks and tourist areas for 3 days I was able to see the type of mother I want to be…and the one I don’t. Unfortunately, I saw some mothers speaking to their kids the way that I have spoken to Nora. The raised voice, the harsh tone…little love.

I need more love. I need to show more love. I need to give more love. I want my children to feel more love.

Some days it’s really tough. Some days my patience is tested and it’s all I can do to not step outside my back door and scream at the top of my lungs. Not scream anything in particular, just scream….yell…”ARGH!!!”

And I will admit that I have done that before. Thank goodness I do live out in the country. I only have one neighbor who, maybe, heard me…but hopefully not.

Being away from my children for 3 days, in the “happiest place on earth” has given me a chance to have a new start. It’s put my mind in a place where I can go home with a fresh mind and spirit and a little more patience.

I want my children to feel love from me. I want them to be good kids, and that always requires teaching and discipline, but I need to make some changes in myself if they are to become the children I hope they will be.

I am so thankful I had the chance to go on this trip. Not just to be able to spend time with a girlfriend and explore Orlando, but because I had the chance to step back from my “normal” life and see what changes I need to make in myself. I hope that my family reaps many benefits from this trip, even though they didn’t get to come with me.

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