I'm sitting here on this cold Monday night in sorrow. Last week an older gentleman, Nathan, from the church I attend, passed away from cancer. He had been sick off and on for a long time but was only VERY recently diagnosed....and then he was gone.
We attend a very small church...very small. Normal attendance consists of about 20 people or so. We are the youngest family that attends and there really isn't anyone else around our age there. But it's a nice church and once we can deal with out kids settling down for the hour maybe we'll attend more often.
Tomorrow is the funeral. I am torn about going. I feel like I should and I want to be there to support Nathan's wife, Lynn, but I would have to go alone with the kids. There will be no nursery or day care during the service and I just don't feel like taking a 3 year old and a 1 year old to a funeral is the appropriate thing. They don't understand and they won't behave and be still.
The other difficult part is that I am still having a terribly difficult time over the loss of my aunt. Going to another funeral right now, of someone else who passed from cancer, is just not something I feel that I can handle...while wrangling 2 kids.
Does it make me a bad person if I don't attend? Will Lynn think I don't care? Will I miss out on saying goodbye to Nathan?
All this talk of loss of life makes you think about what's important. Seems like we get these kind of reminders off and on...and we need them. I need them. Life in short and people can leave you when you least expect it. Tell the ones you love how much you love them every day.