Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Feeling Self Conscious

I think it's something that many of us battle but I wish I didn't care so much what other people think.

Yesterday, phase one of my tooth ordeal ended. As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been dealing with an infected tooth for over 2 weeks now. After many dental visits (including one to an endodontist), and multiple conversations with my husband, we decided to have the tooth pulled. The only other option was a repeat root canal (which would have been tough because this tooth had a crown on it), or gum surgery. Either of those options did not seem ideal because they were afraid the tooth actually had a crack in it, which they couldn't see because of the crown. Plus, with being pregnant I would have been more limited to what medications they could use and sedation was not an option.

Now that you know more than you cared to know, the end of the story is that my tooth was pulled yesterday. When you look at me, it is the tooth just to the right of my 2 front teeth. Besides being one of my two front teeth, it's one of the most obvious teeth you'd notice if it was missing.

Now I'm hiding away.

I did take my kids to school this morning (and will be picking them up in a few hours) but other than that I have no plans to go anywhere until my flipper comes in.

If you've never heard of a dental flipper, you can check out some information here. Basically it's a small retainer that has a fake tooth attached to it. It can be taken in and out, like a regular orthodontic retainer, so I'll take it out at night but keep it in to eat and do my day to day activities. They are usually used as a temporary fix until the final dental work can be finished but some people wear them for a long time because they do look like your other teeth and they are more cost effective.

Eventually, after the baby comes, I'll be looking into getting a dental implant. I have one already so I know the process and I've had a flipper before, so that's nothing new either.

The whole point of the post is that I wish I didn't care so much about my vanity and what other people think. Unless my flipper appears at the dentist office today (which they don't expect) I will end up missing a MOPS meeting tomorrow morning. I just can't imagine going there with a missing tooth. Even though I know it's temporary and it doesn't change who I am as a person, I'm still too self-conscious. Do I think people will judge me? Think less of me? Probably...and that's sad. I guess that's the world we live in today. You can't deny that appearances are very important. It's all about that first impression, right? I'm sure that a lot of these ladies would not even think twice about my missing tooth, especially if I don't really talk about it. If I don't give an open mouthed smile you really can't even tell. And, hopefully, later that day no one would even know the difference because my replacement will be in...but I will still be staying home. Because of me...my own insecurities, my own vanity...

It's definatly not an easy fix, but something I am trying to work on within myself.

Love and wishing to be stronger,


1 comment:

  1. Huge hugs, Steph! As someone once said, "You are beautiful!"